On my journey of higher education I seam to hit road blocks... and sometimes even worse are those hard decisions.  I have never been much into the beauty pageant scene or any of that type of stuff but as funding my education is increasingly becoming more difficult and the only option seams to be student loans I am stuck between a rock and a hard spot.
The little town I live in holds a Miss Sierra Vista Pageant... now like your typical pageant you are judged on your poise but also you have essays to write, a rawther envolved community service platform you must complete private interviews as well as to be up on current events.  Now becuase we are such a small town... and so vastly populated by coming and going military families the pageant isn't that well known nor is it that popular but there is up to $8000 in scholarship funds for the participants!
It is sort of against my grain to promote something like a beauty pageant but on the other hand everyone that wants me to enter says I have a chance because of my personality, dedication to promoting literacy in our community (I hold a free reading circle for K-5th graders), and my onstage personality. 
I don't know... there is a lot of good that comes out of this scholarship the contestants raise money for the Children's Miracle Network every year as well as the idea of the community platforms... last years Miss SV helped to start a town-sponsored recycling program.  There is a lot of backing that comes with the title... and the attitude and make up of my little town is so different than what you would typically see in a beauty pageant town.  
I don't know... should I go for the scholarships?  Should I try and take this and if by chance I do win can it be the start to something really great I give back to the town?
Any advice?

Highschool Sweethearts... but the very first time we meet was not in the classroom.  It was at a volley ball coache's house... who had recuited help from some football players in building a "kit car" that was a fundraisor for the Volley ball team.
My sister forgot to come and get me, so he took me home.  We didn't start dating for over a year later... but it was the beginning of a wonderful friendship.

I wish I was in a classroom teaching. 

The promise to love myself.

I am sad to write that I have so many greedy wishes for the upcoming month.  And many of them have to do with money.  I am hopeful for some kind of miracle in which money for tuition appears at me feet, and then I am fearful that I will not be able to pay all the bills come December 31st. 
But on a brighter note, I am wishing to survive one more month of 2008, and hoping that 2009, brings my home town out of the crisis we are in and back to normal.

When I moved out of the house I wrote a goodbye letter to my Dad.  All at home was not always well, but my dad was the best dad anyone could ask for.  It came down to a choice of staying and supporting him and being a mother to my then five year-old brother, or going to college and starting a life of my own.  I wrote I think ten pages explaining three words. I love you.
If only my little brother could have handled it as well as my dad.  Poor guy.  Things are better now, but I don't think he will fully understand my leaving until he is much older.

Last christmas I was looking for a gift for stocking stuffers in my dad's drawer of treasures, and way in the back tucked in a wooden box much older than I held the letters that my aunt had sent my dad when he had flown the coop, and the single letter from me.
Sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong choice, but I know that my dad loves me regardless.

Recently I was Peagen Mike in the Playboy of the Western World.  I love being on stage!
Otherwise, I never put up a false front, I am just me (even if I am a little *crazy*).  My moods change frequently and I'll burst out about just about anything at anytime.  I just love being   spontaneous. 

Autumn Autumn Autumn.
I remember the berenstain bears and i can smell it in the air.  bathing suits are replaced with long sleeve shirts and flip flops with real shoes.  Volleyball, homecoming, Halloween, high school English, lunch at Boomer's house.  Autumn has always felt like the start of the year (maybe its because I have been in school for the last sixteen of them?) And I remember autumn and school hand in hand. Autumn always makes me think- of dad and starting to fish at Parker lake instead of Patagonia.  Of mom never coming to see, never wanting to know who I am.  Of getting on a plane and leaving the summer behind in PA, people not sitting on the patio anymore, and BBQ's getting their last hooray.  Albondigas is the weekend special and Aryra's hands are beautiful when she makes the meatballs and tells me about her home thousands of miles away.
It's the last stretch before winter, when we let the cars warm up before we ever leave for another inside.

My entire life just got turned upside down.
With the economy struggling, the company I work for is struggling as well.  Today, I was given the news that everyone in my office is getting laid off but myself and one other lady.  We are going from six down to two.  It also means, that I no longer can work four tens (mon thru thursday) which means I lost my oppurtunity to volunteer at a certain school on fridays.  I feel like crying- for the loss my friends are about to suffer, and for myself, I finally thought that I was getting to a position where I would get closer to my dreams and now I have one more mountain to climb.  So although I am totally dishearted from losing my oppurtunity to be with those children, I am ever so greatful I didn't lose my job.
Blessings to all-
Kimberly Elyse

The opportunity to practice patience- and it is not easy.  The patience has to do with my current job and how the economy is effecting EVERYTHING.  I am finding myself less and less appreciative of the fact that I still have a job, even with all of its prickly thorns!
God keep me sane!